isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
