My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
