Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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