She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize
