It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.