ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.