I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
People in love make me want to vomit
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
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a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
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IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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