how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
