Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
