is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
