My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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