Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
