There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
