was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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