You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
