Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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