Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i think i have two assholes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
