i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
