Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
