Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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