I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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