I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my shit smells like andre
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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