those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize