that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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