kristin has been a bad kristin
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
