I could make wine with my vomit
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
3 2 1 whiskey
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
