Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
