Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize