do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
