how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
