Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
