I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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