is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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