It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
