hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
