apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
