"it" just moved
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
