today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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