Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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