is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
