Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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