People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have demons in me.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
