i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
