By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
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I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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