like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
