the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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