my mouth tastes like poor choices
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
