i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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