she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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