Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
