make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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