The maid of honor just puked.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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