tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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