Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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