I must be too annoying 4 u.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
