My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
