Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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