he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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