Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.

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(301): View more from Maryland

so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Welcome to Philly.

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(210): View more from Texas

Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-

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(260): View more from Indiana

After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis

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