You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
